Sacrifice.

Jesus knew how hard this would be for us...the cost of following Him is not cheap.

Matthew 16:24,

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom."

I never thought that I would ever have any problems with moving to another country for the Lord, in fact, I didn't think I would miss ANYTHING about home at all. The only thing that I wanted to do was to move away, leave North Carolina and all the familiar things in life...I wanted adventure, I had a lot of (GOOD) zeal to GO anywhere for the Lord.

But I have learned such an incredible amount in the past 4 months...

For starters, the life of a missionary is NOT what I was expecting in the slightest bit! In general, when you hear that word, thoughts of always ALWAYS doing stuff, seeing people come to the Lord left and right, and having a successful ministry...these things do happen...but in time. There's so much more to ministry in a foreign culture than just going for it. First, there is the language, which most times takes over a year to really learn when you come into the country without much knowledge in it. Then there is relationship building, which we are so blessed to have a few families here already that has made this process a bit easier, but it's still very challenging. But I thank the Lord that despite all these things the Lord is allowing us to be used in many ways I was not expecting! It's awesome to see how much the Lord is teaching us and using us at the same time!

Also, I'm finding it takes so much patience to allow the Lord to change my previous thoughts of what ministry REALLY is...

Why is it that we think of conferences, designated outreaches, etc, when we hear "ministry", but we never think about encouraging the cashier at Lowes Foods who's had a rough day, or introducing the guy we see everyday on the bus to Jesus. Ministry is not just from 7-11pm on a Friday night or at the homeless shelter from 5-7am...it's every single moment you are awake and breathing.
The Lord is rooting this out of me. I do not want to be defined by WHAT I do. Because my identity is in Him alone....HIM ALONE. Wow. I mean every time I think of it, I see how subconsciously I define myself on how "spiritual" I am, in what I'm DOING, or my "good works."

He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.

Titus 3:5

Praise the Lord for His forgiveness and patience with us!!

Another thing that I was not in the slightest expecting during this season, is how hard it seems to be to not miss home...
I miss the trips to the beach with my family.
I miss drinking sweet tea on those super hot days on the back porch ;)
I miss my family there (both by human blood and the blood of Christ)
And the list goes on and on...

But I know that Jesus is worth so much more than the price I'm paying for this gift. I heard someone say it's like paying $20 for a brand new Mustang or something. =) What a good comparison! So many times the thing that is focused on the most is the sacrifice we are making, instead HIS SACRIFICE FOR US. When we chose to focus on Him and fix our eyes on Him, it flips...we then realize that we are paying close to nothing to see His glory, all we have to do is say Yes to Him.
What a great God we have! He asks nothing from us that we cannot do!

And as soon as I get the slightest glimpse of His bright and untouchable glory everything else fades to nothing...and I realize that seeing Him, loving Him, and following Him is priceless.