Love is a VOW

Love is not a feeling.

Love is not a burning.

Love is a promise, a vow, a loyalty.

This season has been a trying one for me. I have been stretched and challenged in ways I was not expecting when I came home for my four months here.

Almost instantly after coming back home, away from the "bubble" (the bubble that I dearly love and cherish ;) ) of Bethany, the Lord began to strip away a whole bunch in my life that was entangling me, and keeping me away from going deeper into His heart; things that were hindering me from Him.

First, He took away a relationship almost without reason. But now I see that this was the beginning of God's plan to take me into the wilderness with Him.

Then, I found myself without a home church, which left me feeling very out of place here and alone. But in this time the Lord taught me what it is to follow Him sometimes. I cannot define who I am by those around me, I should find myself in Him alone. Also, I came to know a deeper appreciation and love for the Body of Christ, that I didn't have before. I learned that the Lord created us to "need" one another in a sense. I have such a deep passion for my brothers and sisters in the Lord that if I didn't go through that season, I wouldn't have now.

There is so much of the world that we as humans find our identity in, like clothes, family, friends, our jobs, what people label us as like "mom" "dad" "singer" "dancer" "missionary" "pastor", and although these things may be the things that we do or what occupies our time and thought, it is not who we are.
God has been showing me that He says something totally different about me then what this world does. He delights in our talents and our personalities, yes, He's the One who made us that way, but He wants us to find ourselves IN HIM.

Through this process of God stripping my heart of everything that I have been hiding myself in I'm beginning to see my heart for what it really is, and learning to listen to what the King of kings says of me.
And being in the desert with Him is helping me to know what love is. He loves us no matter what. He loves us when we are ignoring Him, He loves us even when we are questioning Him and His will, and He loves us in those times when we can barely look at Him.
And He wants our love as well. He's looking for a heart that praises Him when everything in our life is crashing down.

I want to love Him.
I want to learn to sing when my heart in the desert.
I want to learn to lean on Him when my heart is bare.

Lord, teach me how to do this.