Many thoughts running in my head like a river rushing after a storm and I'm going to get them out...
I am realizing that I am learning so many things right now, and they are all starting to sink from my head to my heart, and the lessons that Jesus has been teaching me for the past 8 months are digging their roots deeper and deeper into my heart.
There hasn't been any earthshaking revelations at any intense worship sessions or anything like that, just simple truths that Jesus has been whispering to my heart over and over, while stretching, testing, and growing within me through daily challenges and trials.
One of the bigger ones for me lately has been in the lesson of TRULY trusting Jesus with my ALL AND ALL and putting Him as the first in my heart and life. I know that if I do not give up everything else up to Him then I can not go to deeper places with Him.
I had a vision the other day of me holding a necklace with a heart on the end... it was my heart.
Jesus was standing a ways away and He was a bit blurry to me, and I knew I needed to do something : Give Him my heart.
So I threw Him the necklace with my heart on the end and watched as the necklace chain flew in the air and into His hands.
I'm so grateful for all the ways He encourages me in this journey.
I don't think God ever lets a day go by without putting something in our paths to show us just how with us He really is: sometimes we just aren't looking hard enough to see them.
I've hit the halfway mark of internship and have actually passed it by almost two months. It's hard to explain what I've felt and been through since being here, and I don't think one can truly understand it without having gone through it themself.
After my Anthropology class, and talking about God's heart for missions, I started doubting this whole being a missionary thing...Is this really how I want to spend my life? I mean I'm giving up too much doing this. Doesn't God care about what I desire in life? A nice little family, job, house, and maybe even a decent car somewhere in my hometown near my family. That's not asking much is it? Comfort and safety...two things that the American(and just human in general) culture has taught me are some of the two most important things in this life.
But if I allow myself to stay in my comfortable little bubble, that would mean, for me, I'm not really following Jesus. It would mean, for me, that I am taking my life back into my hands and out of His....
Following Jesus is uncomfortable. It's denying all of me...ALL OF ME. There's a constant war between our flesh and spirit..I can testify to this, we all can. But following Jesus means we choose the spirit, no matter how uncomfortable it may get. Following Jesus is costly.
Luke 9:59,62
"Jesus said, "Follow me." ... "No one puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."
I love Him.
He's never going to give up on me, and I praise Him for bringing me here, to be His witness, and to learn more about Him. My life is looking up... because I get to spend it getting to know the most amazing Man who ever was!
He deserves all the glory, all the honor, all the praise. He deserves my heart, my life, my ALL.
To Him be the glory, forever!
Colossians 3:1-4
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For YOU DIED, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears then you also will appear with him in glory."
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