i trust not in my faithfulness to God but in His faithfulness to me.
this past week has been a hard one for me.
i have made a lot of mistakes, "normal" mistakes that we all make, like,
not loving well,
being selfish,
choosing my wants over the needs of others,
choosing to sow to my flesh and not the spirit.
and with these mistakes come accusations, guilt, and shame.
i feel the enemy come at me, saying, "look. you failed again. you'll never be good enough. you're so selfish, and full of sin, why do you even try? God is so disappointed in you. Why would he take you back, AGAIN? you're just gonna fail again. etc etc."
but God does not see it this way.
He sees it so differently.
He is not looking on me with disappointment, but calls out to me, to "Come." I hear His sweet, sweet voice say to me, "Come back to me my love. Leave those things again. Come back and run towards me. I will make you new. I am a God of redemption."
Whoa! No matter HOW MANY TIMES I HEAR IT, it will never get old. and every time...EVERY SINGLE. TIME....it's like the first time. And i see my weakness so clearly..and His strength so much clearer.
but that is the beautiful mystery of our God. Every day God is working in me, maturing me in Him, and i am far from being perfect.
in fact, the more i get to know my God, the more i see my weaknesses and need of Him.
the Lord is always showing me how incredibly humble, gentle, and gracious He is, and especially in this time as i prepare to move to france again, for the sole purpose of being a light for Christ in that country, He is reminding me that, it is THROUGH HIM ALONE THAT ANY CHANGE WILL COME.
Oh how my heart cries out,
"come Holy Spirit....come!"
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